Friday, March 16, 2007

the flowering hello

Spring is my new favorite season. I used to love the fall for all of its reasons. But as I get older I find the newness and rebirth of the land inspiring.
This is the view from my bathroom window where a Bradford Pear tree marks the seasons for me. I am always eager to see it bloom, because it reminds me so much of my mom. There are certain flowers and trees that remind me of her, plants that she loved. All of them bloom. So when I see one in all of its glory my heart aches with pleasure, because I know she would have loved to be here to see it with me.
March is a time when my mom would love to come south to visit me. The weather in Georgia is great. March in Ohio is just a pain in the butt. You feel like winter should be ending, it just gets warm enough to tease and then whammo three more inches of snow. And there is plenty of cold rain too. I used to live on a streets lined with dogwood trees and she seemed to come around they time they were in full bloom. She even painted a picture for me of a robin (since my street's name was Robinwood) in a flowering dogwood. It hangs at my front door in honor greeting everyone with the note "Peace to all who enter here."
Although I'm not an expert I don't think the Bradford Pears are named that because they bare fruit, I think it is because of their shape. Anyway they are blooming now, everywhere. Again I get that little achey feeling, because five years ago this month, mom died. I went to stay with her for a while and then came back home. My sister called on a Wednesday to tell me she stopped eating. When we were packing for our trip back north again. I looked out my bathroom window and noticed that the tree was almost ready to bloom. She died on that Saturday. While I was gone, my bathroom tree bloomed and turned green.
Now the trees are blooming again like white heavenly tears reminding me of how much she misses us.


Suz said...

I am sitting here bawling my eyes out. This is so bittersweet!
It's been a long time since I've been to your site, but everytime my Dad (Grandpa Jim) asks about your blog site, I send him an email with the URL address, and then I take a look myself.
I love your blog, your style of writing, and your wonderful mothering skills. I can't think of a better example of the perfect Mom than you!! I mean that!! Even though all Mom's are imperfect, you make me sad that I wasn't a better Mom.
I always leave your blog smiling and feeling good, but today I have to cry for your loss. My heart breaks for you!
Thank you so much for letting us into your life with wonderful pictures and stories of adventures that would make most Moms and kids reminisce and wish you were their Mom!
Love You All,
Aunt Sue in Florida

McMama said...

oh yes I am a great mom....
I've already started the fund for the years of therapy it will take to get my boys over the fact i am their mother.