I am lighter than I have felt in months, not physically, for better or worse, but mentally.
We met with a pediatric neurologist today at Emory for a second opinion on K's seizure condition. After a recent uptick in seizure activity, I harassed the unfortunate souls that make a living by answering the phones for the pediatric division.
"Do you have any cancellations?" I'd ask.
"Nope, first available is in February," he'd answer.
.....5 hours later.....
"Hello, me again. You have any cancellations?"
"No, I'm sorry first available is in April" she'd say.
Are you people trying to discourage me?
To say I love this doctor wouldn't even begin to expres what I feel about this man tonight. What do you say about a person that brings you wisdom, kindness, experience, reassurance and well, love, into caring for your child?
As a bonus, K thought he looked like a thin version of George Lucas.
This doc says K has a benign form of childhood epilepsy which he will likely outgrow. He said the threshold for medicating him is frankly up to us, as his parents. We will know when it is time to start the meds. For me, it was after his third seizure. However, my hunka hunka said as I readied to pry the mouth open of a sleeping child to throw a pill down his throat.....woah woman have you lost your mind? My sweet hunka needed some time to read up on seizures and the medications first. Ah nevermind that we've had about 4 months to read in on this, but anyway, welcome to the program.
In the end, it was probably for the best as now we can breathe and know that he will be OK.
Interestingly this week I caught one of my favorite NPR shows "Speaking of Faith." The show called Listening Generously spoke with a doctor who said that her personal battle with disease changed the way she approached patients and her views of healing and curing. She also said that much of the world's greatest wisdom comes from the sick or those near death, as that is the time that life becomes crystal clear and focuses one on the things that matter.
I shared some of this insight with K today that what has been happening to him is a gift that will help him empathize and sympathize with others now and as he grows. It has been a theme lately around our house that learning from our losses will teach us all to live.