Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Things I never thought I'd say

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I've got a little list going I call it "Things I Never Thought I'd Say."
Here's a sample of ....

* Please take that salami off of your brother's head.

* Please don't lick the sink.

* We don't rub our bodies all over the walls of a public bathroom.

Here are a couple some friends have added

* Please don't put cheese on the dog.

*Please don't pick your nose and eat it.

I have a new one tonight.

I prepared another healthy delicious and nutrious meal with love and tenderness. ahem.
It was chicken salad....with chicken. carrots, mayo, salt and pepper on bread....all things my children eat in great quantities, I may add. But something about the combination of all of them together was enough to make one son start to retch and gag at the table. We have a rule, everyone must at least try their food. I am sooooo against preparing more than one meal for the people at the table. If you cannot eat what is prepared, you will go hungry for the night.

But his brother happily ate his entire sandwich and asked for dessert -- in his case popcorn. (because for some reason and at some time, pop corn became a dessert in our house) So fine, permission granted which caused the urping party great distress, weeping and whaling.
So the retching brother tried mouthful after mouthful and spit them in napkins which orbited his plate. Then he stood on his chair hovering over me with food in his mouth gagging-- eyes watering.

"Please don't throw up on me while I'm eating," I said calmly and put another bite in my mouth.

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