short and pudgy

I spent three hours today trying to find a pair of jeans. What a grueling and mentally depleting adventure.
Of course, I'm a year out from giving birth. I don't know how much longer I can defend myself with the "I just had a baby" excuse.
A youngish teenish girl asked if she could help me as I walked into a store. I told her I needed something for a short pudgy girl like myself.
Ah well, all of their jeans are cut for "long, slender waists," she said.
I certainly thought this Miss Skinny Pants was joking, until she said she believed my size was the largest they carried.
She handed me a pair of jeans she thought would fit me....size 7 Regular!
I told her to double the width and cut the length in half.
My friend says I was just asking for trouble and perhaps I should add bathing-suit-shopping to my to-do list as long as I'm up for the punishment.
I bought nothing today except for an outrageously expensive first pair of shoes for the baby.