Spring 2009

April showers brough hail last week. Oh it was very exciting! We collected them and KC ate all the little ice balls.All hail the chiefs....on Easter Sunday

The baby's new obsession....

KC is obsessed with our cat recently. Nevermind that Baka, the wonder cat, has been here from the get-go...suddenly we must always know where said kitty is and what he is doing *at*all*times*. Baka is just annoyed by the whole thing.

Spring 2009

For you Mom

Mabel and Chester

There are mountains of laundry around this joint. Some wet. Some muddy. Some dripping. Some clean. Most are dirty.

My washing machine finally said, "enough!" and bit the dust. Moment of silence please.

R.I.P Sears Kenmore 80 series May 2001-March 2009
Sniffle

S'Okay....So my new models are arriving this Saturday. I have polled my Facebook friends asking if it is inappropriate to embrace the appliance delivery man when he arrives. My friend Paula says, "Only if he'll do a couple of loads of laundry first!"

I like that about Paula, so level-headed.

So I have decided that perhaps the new models need names, to make them feel at home, to make them work harder, to make them want to stay for more than a decade, to make them love us .....

Mabel and Chester. These were the names of my dearly departed paternal great-grandparents. I feel a bit guilty for not having named any children after them. But come on.... Mabel? Chester? No wonder we nicknamed them "Bom" and "Chet."

In my mind, my new appliances are bright burgundy red, glittering, shiny and new, but I then remember that I didn't want to spend the extra 300 bucks for colored appliances. So they are white, shiny and strong, true to their names.

Mabel will, of course, be the washer: hard-working, super efficient, tough on spots but with a gentle cycle. Chet will be the dryer. An easy line here would be because he blows hot air and spins in a circle, but anyone that has ever met quiet, sweet, tiny Chester knows better.

cake in the oven

I've got a chocolate cake in the oven and a diet on my mind.

Just got back from an hour of Zumba.

The boys are healthy. The baby is still a handful. He is different, way different than the other two.

The transmission in my washing machine is on the blink. But if I stand on one leg, rattle the wash cyle button and sing "Bicylce Built for Two," I can fix it.
So I am shopping for a washer and dryer. As are most projects I find myself in, it consumes me.

Phase Two of the 2009 Great De-Crap

You know those "I Spy" kids books where you search for hidden objects? No? How about "Where's Waldo?"
See if you can find a hidden child or two doing homework in the chaos that WAS our garage.

I took back the space thanks to the cool shelves and bins from costco and my Bob hanging the shelf and tool hanger thingy.

raisins in the washer

I talked to two money women today: one, a rep from the credit union, another from Fidelity. I can't really remember the last time I talked to such types, let alone two in one day.
Their tone was kind gentle sympathetic. The way funeral directors softened their eyes and gently lead you to view the body. I'm so sorry. I'm just so so sorry.
They expressed their concern and empathy for the decisions and losses that needed to be handled.
"Hey, we are all rowing this boat in the same direction," I shrugged into the phone.

So to make myself feel better, I made soup. Not just soup, but bean soup. I even made the friggin stock. I used the carcass of a rotisserie chicken and ends and bits and choppings of every vegetable in the house.
My kids hate my bean soup. I tried to make it all romantic and tell the story about how if it weren't for "seven bean with barley," they wouldn't even be here. But that is another post, I suppose.

My house and the economy is a mess and the laundry. Oh the laundry. I had four loads folded all over the family room. Three more added today. At the bottom of the washing machine were three plump shiny raisins and a dime. My payment for a day's work. And a snack.

nothing

I have absolutely nothing to say, which is a good thing.
I have been forgetting about my blog and not unfortunately my Facebook account. Facebook is truly a remarkable creation. I thought I'd hate it, but have found the opposite to be true. Truth is, I like seeing what my friends are doing.

My boys are remarkably healthy and strong. For this I am so grateful.
We are approaching the three month mark of K being seizure free. The baby has begun to talk ribbons around us.
Quinn had a little bout with the flu last week, but has rebounded quickly.

Today Q reinforced his bicycle legs by taking a 5K spin around the park. He wobbled, stopped, started and fussed for the first 1/2 mile and nearly took out a couple walkers and a toddler, but he got it.
Life is good.

I'm sorry already

This is a transcript of an actual letter of apology written under duress, as a condition of not being grounded for the rest of his life.
The names have been altered to protect the not so innocent.

Dear Q,
I am terribly sorry for choking you.
I couldn't control my anger.
You are my nicest brother.
I shouldn't have done that to you.
I WILL NOT do it again. Sorry again.

Sincerely,
K
Hogwart's Head Master

Feb comes

I have started to get ready for my next 5K, which is in May. Last year I did the couch to 5K program, which got me ready and enabled me not to humiliate myself.

This week I have already run eight miles; it seems easier this time around. I also have been doing Zumba at the YMCA twice a week. My weight doesn't change because I still eat like a truck driver.

I have also taught the baby how to roll play dough into balls, which seems like not such a big deal, but has become a big time saver in my day-- perhaps about 20 minutes a day. Because all he wants to make are snowmen. HELP ME! MAKE SNOWMAN! HEEEELLP MEEEE.

Which leads me to the crazy part of being a Northerner living in the South... There comes a time when you have to teach your children words like: yak, aardvark and igloo. These are words you have to know them because they begin with a letter you have to learn in order to get ahead in life. Usually this curriculum is developed in exotic places like Connecticut or Massachusetts

When I realized there were pictures of sleds, mittens and icicles -- I actually had to explain them what they were how they were used or where you could find them, because we've had no interaction with them in real life. Snowmen? Same thing....The baby has never made, touched or seen a real snowman. Same thing with snowflakes -- we make the snip snip paper snowflakes -- not because it reflects the outdoors in anyway, but because it is a craft that goes with the season.

I don't miss the winters up north, but somehow I feel like my boys are missing out. Those winters make you stronger somehow and help you appreciate beauty in a different way. It also makes you more appreciative of spring when it comes like a promise fulfilled.

phase one of decluttering

Before.... our garage/mudroom was in constant disarray. We made a futile attempt to put up a shoe and coat rack.

Ater...Thanks to my friends at IKEA, we came up with a locker system. Each person has his own space and if his crap becomes too much for the space, it has to go.

Merry Christmas 2008

Here is a sacred holy scene revered around the world.

The Nativity......complete with Mary, Joseph, the donkey and Baby Jesus (in the laundry basket)

good news

I am lighter than I have felt in months, not physically, for better or worse, but mentally.

We met with a pediatric neurologist today at Emory for a second opinion on K's seizure condition. After a recent uptick in seizure activity, I harassed the unfortunate souls that make a living by answering the phones for the pediatric division.

"Do you have any cancellations?" I'd ask.
"Nope, first available is in February," he'd answer.
.....5 hours later.....
"Hello, me again. You have any cancellations?"
"No, I'm sorry first available is in April" she'd say.

Are you people trying to discourage me?

To say I love this doctor wouldn't even begin to expres what I feel about this man tonight. What do you say about a person that brings you wisdom, kindness, experience, reassurance and well, love, into caring for your child?
As a bonus, K thought he looked like a thin version of George Lucas.

This doc says K has a benign form of childhood epilepsy which he will likely outgrow. He said the threshold for medicating him is frankly up to us, as his parents. We will know when it is time to start the meds. For me, it was after his third seizure. However, my hunka hunka said as I readied to pry the mouth open of a sleeping child to throw a pill down his throat.....woah woman have you lost your mind? My sweet hunka needed some time to read up on seizures and the medications first. Ah nevermind that we've had about 4 months to read in on this, but anyway, welcome to the program.
In the end, it was probably for the best as now we can breathe and know that he will be OK.

Interestingly this week I caught one of my favorite NPR shows "Speaking of Faith." The show called Listening Generously spoke with a doctor who said that her personal battle with disease changed the way she approached patients and her views of healing and curing. She also said that much of the world's greatest wisdom comes from the sick or those near death, as that is the time that life becomes crystal clear and focuses one on the things that matter.

I shared some of this insight with K today that what has been happening to him is a gift that will help him empathize and sympathize with others now and as he grows. It has been a theme lately around our house that learning from our losses will teach us all to live.

everyone has a price

I've gone the distance with this third child.
He is three, and I am beyond and over the peeing in the pants thing.

So I took him to Target and upped the ante...."Name your price, kid."

He chose a Buzz Lightyear and I threw in a Woody doll....to have leverage in case the first time was a fluke.

It is taking far more emotional and physical energy than I have to get that kid to pot....

I am also in a project to organize the mess that is my garage/mud room...more on that later.

october 2008

I have a child, who at the age of three, said he wanted to be a “coffee table” for Halloween.
This Halloween, the same child, proclaimed he would like to be Samuel L. Jackson.
Tomorrow, we will shave his head and try to make him look like a black man.
Meanwhile, the changes in the baby’s diet seemed to have made remarkable improvements in his behavior and speech. At first we thought it was too much of a coincidence….one week off of dairy and a restriction in carbs and he started to speak gangbusters.
Thinking it may have just been a fluke, we put dairy back into his diet and just took it easy on the carbs and he went back into his own spacey destructive mumbled world.
So my baby is starting to peak through his clouds…and has turned THREE!!!

not exactly Anne Geddes...

Whoever has the most sleeping eating baby videos -- wins!

you think you've got problems....

Yikes.
In my search to find someone dealing with the similar issues as me, I joined an "ecommunity" for people dealing with seizures and epilepsy.
I posted my question about one seizure, abnormal eeg etc, why medication? .....

Some of the responses go something like this....
"Wow! I could have written this myself. I know exactly what you mean...."
Oh wow, I think someone with a similar experience.
And then ominous musics inserted here...

" when I got the EEG report, which states ... "As the day progressed the background became more symmentrical and less of the epileptiform discharges were identified", and the day after the seizure on 7/3 "This slowing may well be seen as a post-ictal finding and has improved from the beginning of the recording."

I know; I can see your eyes crossing from here.

This was written by a mom who's profile reads like this....
Single Mom to L... complex partial with secondary generalization to tonic clonic activity. Stopped Keppra (imagine a 6 year with PMS), failed Trileptal (rash), stopped Depakote (extreme intestinal issues), and back on Clorazepate (Tranxene). Stalling on starting Topomax, since there has been no seizure activity since the first one (knock on wood)

Yikes. She is a lighter version of what people struggle with. Some people cry out on the boards as they take their children in for brain surgery. Kids having big seizures everyday despite numerous medications and/or surgery.

I have just hit a little rough spot in trying to figure out what to do with my kids and our life. Between KC's developmental issues and now K's seizure, it is all I can do to keep us all alive. I've found myself angrier than normal, and I take it out on the four guys I love most in the world.

mean and nice ladies that answer phones

Someone sent me a prayer she said/written specifically for K.
Somehow made me feel better.

I cancelled my Cleveland appointment to get a second opinion. Even though the appointment was with the Ped. Neurology Division Chief, and those nice ladies that answered the phone got me squeezed in before the end of this month.

I've realized that on the other side of town is Emory and their pediatric neurology folks. Though I can't get in until JANUARY.

We still have to follow up with our nurse practitioner at Child Neurology Associates in the meantime. I called to schedule his next appointment and asked if I could see a real doctor this time instead of a nurse practitioner. Not that s/he would be any better, smarter, kinder. I would just feel better if a second set of eyes looked at his info. A not so nice lady that answers the phone was very inconvenienced by me because it would require her to fill out a form for it and I'd have to state my reason. You know how sometimes you get luck of the draw with your call....well I got the a rotten one. She indicated that they may deny my request to switch doctors. So much for partnering with us in the care of our son.

In the meantime, I have this book written by the the Johns Hopkins folks. It has educated me on a ton of stuff. After reading it, I feel more confident in our decision to hold off on the meds.

Baby KC will be cycling into the county school system soon to begin more therapy. The developmental pediatrician confirms he does have Apraxia. We will have to continue to monitor him during his school years because many kids have learning disabilities.

He has the comprehension of a 3.5 year old, but the expressive language skills of a 21 month old to a 2 year old, which really, I knew he was about a year or more behind on his speech.

He also took another hearing test yesterday. The audiologist passed him through on the main part but will have to see him back for more testing since he either can't hear the softer sounds or his attention span is short.

ugh....this is the short version of the update.
maybe a more creative blog entry another day.

By the way, our middle son makes us proud. Let me just say this loud, Q has no medical or developmental issues. The teacher's assistant says he eats every piece of food on his lunch tray. We are so very proud. Every little bit of joy helps.

confusion

Should I get a second opinion on K?
Does he really have epilepsy?
Does he really have to take the medicine?

I made an appointment with a doctor at Rainbow Babies in Cleveland.

Hunka and I agreed we are not giving him the meds unless he has more seizures.

He can move on. I can't.
I still wonder if it is the right thing to do. Is there anything I/they are missing?

My brain is overloaded.