i really don't know how this stuff happens

So my little nephew came to visit me at Easter.
I my mind he's little, around 5 years old with a clean face and a monogrammed sweater.
As you can see from the picture, he's not so little anymore.
He tells me he's 27 years old. Which is totally weird, because that's what I am.
I wait for my boys to get bigger, for a time when they will toilet and clean themselves. I think I will then have the time to spend on the things I love. And then I realize, they are the things I love.
I have a lump in my chest everyday with my little 2 year-old, I can't reign him in. He is a wild man. I fear going anywhere with him, because of the destruction he leaves in his path.
Today I had a glimmer of what life may be for him. He seemed to understand me. We went to some physical therapy, lunch at Chick-fil-A and then Costco. A sweet little boy that held my hand in the parking lot, only dropping his body limp twice to see if I would catch him so he could dangle by one arm. I caught him every time.