2nd grade blues

To the best of my knowledge, I've attended second grade.

In fact, I remember the first day my mom said to me. You know, I didn't go to school here (meaning America), I cannot help you any longer with school work, you are on your own.

Well in the end, it was just another great gift she gave me. So while other kids had awesome solar systems crafted out of store bought styrofoam balls and paint or a mechanical structure they built in the garage with their dads. I tried to figure out how to make a dental plate out of flour, water and food color. I won a "superior" and then when I went to the district science fair I found my teeth and literally rotted in the moist baggy with fuzzy mold.

But now I've found myself having to repeat 2nd grade, again. Because we live in a new world where the parents are required to involved in every aspect of the student's class work. K had to decorate a paper gingerbread man to look like himself. He worked at it with great vigor and let's just say the child is not known for his artistic abilities. When I saw all of the little people up on the bulletin board. K's was in the lower left hand corner with a bit of crayon color for clothing and a basic smiley face. Others had buttons, fabric, yarn hair and 3D embellishments showing little gingerdude doing a favorite hobby or sport. Our next project was a book report where we had to, get this, craft a pumpkin or gourd into the main character of the book. Now we are supposed to create a "family turkey" or some damn thing.

Honestly I could hardly fully comprehend the instructions I just glanced at the headline, "Dear Parents...' the dread filled my chest. And then there was something about Thanksgiving being about gratitude for family and golly gee this project will really be a great way for your children be thankful that you got locked away because you won't be around to hurt anyone. anymore.