A Hap-py story

Sometimes it only takes one person and one day to change how you view things forever.

I met Ray ‘Hap’ Halloran when I produced a story on him from CNN’s Tokyo Bureau in 1995. We bonded right away. We were both from Ohio. I asked him how he got the nickname “Hap,” he said people called him that because he was always so happy. His life however was not always so...

Hap was a World War 2 veteran and former POW who had returned to Japan 50 years after the end of the war with a lead on a possible location of where his B-29 had crash landed east of Tokyo in Chiba Prefecture.

(This is me in a bamboo forest searching for the downed plane. Think of Geraldo Rivera in Al Capone's vault)

During the war, Hap was part of an Air Force crew of 11 men referred to as the “Rover Boys” who carried out bombing missions on targets in Japan. After enduring a fierce high altitude air fight during his 4th mission, Hap jumped from his plane in sub-zero temperatures, free-fell 24,000 feet before opening his chute 3,000 feet over Tokyo. When he landed he was beaten by locals, before being taken into the harsh conditions as a prisoner of war.

What he endured in the months that followed, surviving the Tokyo fire bombings in March of 1945. Soon after he was put on display naked in the tiger cage at the zoo, with his emaciated body (down about 90 pounds) full of sores from the bed bug and lice infestations in the prisons.

Hap talked to me of this experience saying most of the people who had witnessed his display in the zoo were women, likely because most of the men were in the war. As humiliating as it would seem this was intended to be Hap said he thought he saw compassion in the faces of those that were there.

The years following the war, Hap tried to move on and forget all the things that had happened to him, but as any survivor with post traumatic stress disorder can say these things have a way of bubbling up. He endured almost forty years of nightmares, the kind that make you run screaming into the night.

One of the truism I found after meeting people from all walks of life through my job, the statesmen or celebrities never really impressed me. The people that truly stuck in my brain were the ordinary people who did extraordinary things.

While the horror of what humans can inflict on others terrified me, his story reinforced my belief that we are always stronger than we truly know.

Hap and I kept in touch long after we aired our story on him, until my life swept me away, somewhere along the time of my first baby being born.

When my book club read Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand a few months ago. I was reminded of the story of my friend Hap. As it turns out the author and Hap had a correspondence relationship while she was working on the book. He is mentioned in the book and has photo credits.

I found Hap’s website and reached out to him through it. His daughter emailed me back right away, unfortunately Hap had died three months earlier. I am grateful to him for that time I had with him. After the war ended and the POW camps were liberated, Hap knew how fortunate he was to survive and go home. Freedom is never something that can be taken for granted. He called the remaining days of his life “bonus days.” And since he lived so long he started calling them “double bonus days.”

Hap will be interred in Arlington National Cemetery on Friday. It is my highest honor to be there to say good bye and thank you.

a new room

Snowmagedon 2011 was about to kick in, and I knew that I would be spending some amount of time indoors.

It was time to get rid of teddy bear town border and get Q a big kid room. I took this picture and the new Ty Pennington bedspread (Sears = $35 thanks to a clearance price and a gift card) to the Color Jedi. She put together 3 color palettes for me.

Before

After....

I played it safe and went with the lightest color option. The Color Jedi had this awesome idea of having Quinn pull from his astronaut pict (on right) and make new canvases. (All artwork is his) I still have more things to do in his room....but this is where we are now.

The Dog Days are Over

Last night, the 'baby' put on his pjs (with buttons) by himself and brushed his teeth without anyone telling him to do so. He came downstairs fully ready and happy for bed, shocking us all. Then "The Dog Days are Over" from the Glee soundtrack came on the speakers. We did a celebration song and dance at full volume. Whoever says musical theater is not realistic is just. plain. wrong.

Usher

The boy after seeing Usher today: "Why is he famous? And why did he spray paint his car?"

sh*t their mom says

more crazy stuff i found my myself saying.....

Me to boy #2 before a doctor's appt:

"I want you to go upstairs and clean your butt. I mean, your butt hole, specifically. Because if the doctor asks to see your butt hole, I want you to have the cleanest shiniest butt hole he's ever seen."

July

The garden is in full bloom -- I need to harvest, weed and put up the bounty. Last year I tried canning for the first time, but got too scared of things like, oh botulism and death.... and ended up putting everything in the freezer anyway.

Tonight I will make more freezer jams. I've made strawberry and peach so far this year.....and I can't make it fast enough. Tonight I will make more peach (98 cents a pound at Walmart), mango and blueberry preserves.

I think I have enough tomatoes and peppers to make salsa - but may end up making a nice garlic, tomato, basil, shrimp pasta dish. The kids may not like it -- but that is OK since I've got two new margarita glasses....that are begging to be put to use.

The hills are alive

Life has a great way of coming full circle.

I stood in line tonight with my Very Fairy Princess book by Julie Andrews, waiting for her to sign it. None of the males in my family wanted to come with me. Whatever. I realize my dream cannot be forced upon my children as fathers sometimes do: ala Tiger Woods', or the Venus - Serena Williams' papas.
As a preschooler, I played my parents' album of "The Sound of Music" over and over and over on an aqua blue record player. You remember those things, the needle hand had a penny taped to the top of it to keep it from skipping....Hours and days on end I spent in my room, singing and dancing and imagining the scenes and lives behind the music.

And then when I was about 5 years old, someone took me to my first movie...The Sound of Music. I stood a bit taller than the back of the seat in front of me and sang at the top of my lungs every song. I heard that I embarrassed and annoyed others, but not for one minute, myself.
The scenes in the real movie weren't as magical as they were in my head of course because they didn't star me, of course...in all of my 5 year old fabulousness.
And then in a one-two punch came -- Mary Poppins. Julie Andrews was pure English-spoon-full-of-sugar magic. I needed her to be my nanny.

Tonight, I waited in line about an hour and a half, and when my turn came to meet her, so did the tears. I truly hate that about myself. The crying thing. ugh so annoying. If there was one thing I could change about myself it would be that. Ok nevermind, make that the second thing I would change about myself, the first of course would be my hips, but I digress....

She said I was the second one in the line-up to cry, which didn't really make me feel any different. She said that she appreciates my emotions because she is usually the one doing the crying.

She was as beautiful and gracious as I've imagined her.

I thanked her for bringing me so much joy as a child and over the years. for filling my lonely girl head with music, dance and wonder.

She spent a few minutes asking me questions, if the book was for me or another princess in my life. I gushed a bit about my boys and attempts to bring them over to Julie Andrews Land. She seemed to understand that perhaps all would not like to join me. She asked me about my boys and intuitively knew that I was was aiming for a princess somewhere along the way, and I wished my mom could lived long enough to have seen this.

I normally am not a star-struck kind of gal, but I was tonight. I walked away from the curtained off room and some employees saw me as I dabbed away the rest of my tears. "Awww," one said, "that was pretty emotional, huh?"

I stopped for a minute still not sure who or what just happened and said, "I either had to cry, or pee my pants." She thanked me for not making it the second.

I can now blog from my phone. Just getting the hang of it. Took me a couple hours to figure out how to set it up

IMG00467-20100619-1705.jpg

A statue of 3 boys that looked like mine. The statue boys are in a water fight with other statue boys. We thought this was cool

NYC

What we did on our summer vacation....We went (along with the entire subcontinent of India and Pakistan) to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. This is one of those rare photos where everone is looking in the general direction of the camera.

Toy STory #3

I don't think I was supposed to cry, no, weep at the end of Toy Story 3, was I?

Andy grows up, goes to college sure sure, empty nest that's easy. But uhm let's see, it is afterall --MY blog how can I make this about ME?

Do you know that I have gone through Pixar people? No less than FOUR Buzz Lightyears and TWO Woodies? Dozens of Buzz underpants, pull-ups, t-shirts, hoodies, pajamas and costumes?

These movies (we're on our second copies of each DVD because we've worn them down) have been memorized and acted out. And now our last little boy goes to the big theater and asks for a new Buzz.

He will get one at $30-40, because our life is unlike the movies. Andy takes care of his toys and doesn't hand them down through two more brothers.

kids

Perhaps, it is because I miss my mom. Perhaps, it is because I am desperately for my kids to have grandparents in their lives. Perhaps, it is because I want someone else to look at one of my kids and see that he is a beautiful, smart, compassionate child of a most awesome God.

I guess I just want someone to see what I see.

Yesterday, I got a taste of this when the boys' 'Aunt' Patty spent the day with them and gave me the best gift of all. Patty is not related by blood, but has been at each of the babies' baptisms. The boys have known her from the beginning and think she is an aunt.

Before she pulled away in the driveway she said, "I left you a surprise." I found it later as I was going to my oft frequented spot-- the refrigerator. She left a letter in which she wrote about each boy and saw them for what I know they are, but often can't see because I am too busy correcting their manners, breaking up their fights and getting them to clean up after themselves.

"Q - is very practical and loves to share his thoughts! He has a great sense of humor. "

" K - is creative....and protective of the other two....and has a great deal of compassion for KC, helping him and encouraging him to 'try again!"

"KC is definitely secure being the little brother. He knows that K&Q are always there for him! Again a sense of humor that is so innocent but so quick! He has no trouble speaking his mind!"

It is the human condition to be acknowledged and seen. . It is the mother's condition to have her children acknowledged and seen.

Happy Birthday. Now shut up and eat your brains

Our oldest turns 10 tomorrow. He also celebrates one year seizure (and medication) free this week. To mark this fabulous occasion, he said he wanted a brain cake.....so hear ya go. Don't let anyone tell ya that you don't have a lick of brains.

October 2009

Apple picking
Don't sit under the apple tree for anyone else but me...
Pumpkin Patch

HOME!

What is that saying about home? Something about it being humble and no other place like it? I can't remember because I haven't slept since very well.

KC the wonder kid is BAAACK.

After this morning initial estimate of being at 90 %, he ate something and and then started climbing and ripping up the room.

His diagnosis .... metabolic acidosis. And as I said before, his history of licking and putting everything in his mouth -- made the doctors concerned that he got into some kind of toxic substance. The pediatrician said his blood levels were close to normal today, but considering his behavior we were fine to be released. Her only concern was that his body did not react to treatment as expected. Therefore if there are any future incidents, we'll have to investigate a cause.

For the two older boys -- they are in quarantine upstairs. Both tested negative for strep and influenza, but they are taking Tamiflu as a precaution because of KC's hospitalization.

The love and generosity of friends has inspired and overwhelmed me. A friend is bringing my exhausted soul dinner tonight. Another friend picked the baby and me up from the hospital so we wouldn't have to pile all the boys in the van. The messages on Facebook, email, texts, phone -- I have clung to every word of hope, prayer and laughter. Bits of joy - it is what I live for.

wed 6am

There are meowing noises coming from the hospital bed next to me. The sweetest sounds I do believe I have ever heard. KC is back to about 90 %. He still has low energy and is content to be bedridden, but is past the whiny fussy stage he was in yesterday.

Yesterday I rejoiced when he started moaning and fussing, because it was a 100% improvement from being near unconscious. When someone can stick him with a needle and draw blood without him even opening his eyes, it is bad.

This morning he is charming the nurses with his sideways smile and meowing his answers back to them, as if he's pulling off some big joke on them. But we've got his number.

We are in a holding pattern this morning until the doctors can have a last look at his lab tests from this morning. The toxicology tests have become negative, which rules out one of the initial fears that he got into something he shouldn't have.

Last night he ate for the first time in four days -- rice, applesauce and something like 12 packages of saltine crackers.

God has been so good to us. His presence has shined in the kind words of friends and talents and generousity of the staff.

And today -- we will figure out what we are going to do about going home. The oldest two have the flu fevers that hover around 103-104 if you let the Motrin slide by a a few minutes. I don't know that we should let the baby back into the plague just yet. Off to order His Royal Kittyness some food.....

tues 1pm update

Good NEWS!!! -- Kenji will be moved out of the ICU today!!! His labs are almost normal. They will move him to a regular room for the tonight. We expect to go home tomorrow. He smiled for the first time today and is becoming more of himself. The staff entertainment unit (or whatever they are called) just brought in a craft and he glued and colored. He also has more interest in playing.

Bad News -- Kai and Quinn have some other kind of ailment, so Shawn will be at home with them today. The initial strep tests are negative. (Though for Quinn they usually are, so we had the strep test sent for the one day test) They are treated them both protectively with Tami-flu, since Kenji will soon be home...and well, what is that saying about the last thing i need...?

Thanks for all your notes and calls of support.

Monday 11/2 update

Just a little update about Kenji.
Kenji is in ICU tonight at Scottish Rite Children's Hospital. He started the weekend off with what we thought was just a stomach bug. Vomiting started Sat afternoon and continued throughout the weekend.
We brought him in this morning for what we thought was some simple rehydration. I thought he'd be hooked up to IVs get some zofran and we'd be on our way.
His blood work came back showing that his Bi-carb levels were at a critical level. Normal is a 20 -- His was 8. After getting some fluids it dropped further to 6. This is apparently something that happens when during dehydration -- but his organs began to show signs of trouble too. Increased heart rate etc... And given his history of putting things in his mouth (they know us around here) they were concerned that there may be another cause.
The ICU doc indicated that he should only be in ICU for one night and will mostly likely go to a regular room tomorrow.
Kenji is sleeping comfortably now. (in fact -- they just drew blood from the top of his hand and he didn't even wake up)
Continue to pray for God's healing hands in this.
Will update as I can,

Baby no more

Have I mentioned how much I do NOT enjoy planning or throwing birthday parties for my children? I know this is not a statement that will move me up on the mother of the year rankings, but tis true. I do enjoy going to other parties that other people have thoughtfully planned and taking home a goody bag at the end of it.
We approach the 4th birthday of my third son. We celebrate much -- the child speaks, he goes to the potty and does what he's supposed to in it (90% of the time.) He can recognize letters, numbers, shapes. This was the boy that seemed lost in his silence for what I can only call the lost years.
So he needs a party really. A few weeks ago we went to Ohio to witness my niece's wedding. It was a traditional celebration complete with flowers, song, dance. The boys enjoyed all of the festivities. After we ate, danced and celebrated for hours, I dressed the baby in his night clothes so he could just be plopped into bed when we got back to our friends'.
"Mama, was this my birthday party?" he asked as I pulled up his PJ pants?
pause
"Yes it was," I said. "We need to thank Uncle Rob."

end of June

Last day of VBS is tomorrow for the two oldest boys.
They have expressed their annoyance and embarrassment of me writing about them, chatting about them with other people. They told me to stop writing about them on Facebook.
I remember feeling the same way about my mom when I was a kid, minus the blog and Facebook thing of course, but for crying out loud I had a beauty shop full of women to contend with.
It is cheap therapy for me, of course, and I haven't even really hit the terrible stuff.
speaking of .... I turned 41 yesterday, I ate myself silly to celebrate. One of my favorite restaurants is Flying Biscuit and I am determined to try everything on the menu before I fly to the Big Biscuit in the sky.

Worm Farm -- part one

A couple of months ago, our mailman Barney delivered 1000 red wiggler worms to our front door. We began our quest to start our own vermicomposting project.

You can sense the joy (or is that fear and disgust) on the face of the children. "What has our mother gotten us into now?" I know, I know, I'm a mind-reader.

Our friend owns a landscaping company and supplied us with plastic flats that potted plants come in. We layered kitchen scraps (vegetable and fruit peels, egg shells, paper towels, paper bags and even a pair of cotton socks) in the trays and stacked them inside this blue Rubbermaid container.

The amazing results to come in pictures to come.....

Garden update...

We've got yellow squash and cucumbers coming out our ears nowadays.

good deals

Our spring garden is fast moving into summer. So we are in the process of moving out the spring lettuces. The boys organized a organic produce stand. Neighbors generously stopped to shop our wares. I stood like the fat field boss drinking coffee and barking orders (ok, suggestions)

A good sale always starts with the marketing team. Here are two of the members now displaying their ad campaign. Each person that drove or walked up had to hold green sticker sheet in hand and admire its beauty. There was also a list of our products on the back. We sold: romaine, arugula, green leaf lettuce, oregano, and flat leaf parsley.

Pied Piper? Snake Charmer? Really there is nothing that draws the crowds like a welcoming rendition of Hot Cross Buns on the recorder.
Boys made $16.50. Talk about sustainable gardening. Notice the baby holding a paper replica of our lettuce it says "WOW"

Spring 2009

April showers brough hail last week. Oh it was very exciting! We collected them and KC ate all the little ice balls.All hail the chiefs....on Easter Sunday

The baby's new obsession....

KC is obsessed with our cat recently. Nevermind that Baka, the wonder cat, has been here from the get-go...suddenly we must always know where said kitty is and what he is doing *at*all*times*. Baka is just annoyed by the whole thing.

Spring 2009

For you Mom

Mabel and Chester

There are mountains of laundry around this joint. Some wet. Some muddy. Some dripping. Some clean. Most are dirty.

My washing machine finally said, "enough!" and bit the dust. Moment of silence please.

R.I.P Sears Kenmore 80 series May 2001-March 2009
Sniffle

S'Okay....So my new models are arriving this Saturday. I have polled my Facebook friends asking if it is inappropriate to embrace the appliance delivery man when he arrives. My friend Paula says, "Only if he'll do a couple of loads of laundry first!"

I like that about Paula, so level-headed.

So I have decided that perhaps the new models need names, to make them feel at home, to make them work harder, to make them want to stay for more than a decade, to make them love us .....

Mabel and Chester. These were the names of my dearly departed paternal great-grandparents. I feel a bit guilty for not having named any children after them. But come on.... Mabel? Chester? No wonder we nicknamed them "Bom" and "Chet."

In my mind, my new appliances are bright burgundy red, glittering, shiny and new, but I then remember that I didn't want to spend the extra 300 bucks for colored appliances. So they are white, shiny and strong, true to their names.

Mabel will, of course, be the washer: hard-working, super efficient, tough on spots but with a gentle cycle. Chet will be the dryer. An easy line here would be because he blows hot air and spins in a circle, but anyone that has ever met quiet, sweet, tiny Chester knows better.

cake in the oven

I've got a chocolate cake in the oven and a diet on my mind.

Just got back from an hour of Zumba.

The boys are healthy. The baby is still a handful. He is different, way different than the other two.

The transmission in my washing machine is on the blink. But if I stand on one leg, rattle the wash cyle button and sing "Bicylce Built for Two," I can fix it.
So I am shopping for a washer and dryer. As are most projects I find myself in, it consumes me.

Phase Two of the 2009 Great De-Crap

You know those "I Spy" kids books where you search for hidden objects? No? How about "Where's Waldo?"
See if you can find a hidden child or two doing homework in the chaos that WAS our garage.

I took back the space thanks to the cool shelves and bins from costco and my Bob hanging the shelf and tool hanger thingy.

raisins in the washer

I talked to two money women today: one, a rep from the credit union, another from Fidelity. I can't really remember the last time I talked to such types, let alone two in one day.
Their tone was kind gentle sympathetic. The way funeral directors softened their eyes and gently lead you to view the body. I'm so sorry. I'm just so so sorry.
They expressed their concern and empathy for the decisions and losses that needed to be handled.
"Hey, we are all rowing this boat in the same direction," I shrugged into the phone.

So to make myself feel better, I made soup. Not just soup, but bean soup. I even made the friggin stock. I used the carcass of a rotisserie chicken and ends and bits and choppings of every vegetable in the house.
My kids hate my bean soup. I tried to make it all romantic and tell the story about how if it weren't for "seven bean with barley," they wouldn't even be here. But that is another post, I suppose.

My house and the economy is a mess and the laundry. Oh the laundry. I had four loads folded all over the family room. Three more added today. At the bottom of the washing machine were three plump shiny raisins and a dime. My payment for a day's work. And a snack.

nothing

I have absolutely nothing to say, which is a good thing.
I have been forgetting about my blog and not unfortunately my Facebook account. Facebook is truly a remarkable creation. I thought I'd hate it, but have found the opposite to be true. Truth is, I like seeing what my friends are doing.

My boys are remarkably healthy and strong. For this I am so grateful.
We are approaching the three month mark of K being seizure free. The baby has begun to talk ribbons around us.
Quinn had a little bout with the flu last week, but has rebounded quickly.

Today Q reinforced his bicycle legs by taking a 5K spin around the park. He wobbled, stopped, started and fussed for the first 1/2 mile and nearly took out a couple walkers and a toddler, but he got it.
Life is good.

I'm sorry already

This is a transcript of an actual letter of apology written under duress, as a condition of not being grounded for the rest of his life.
The names have been altered to protect the not so innocent.

Dear Q,
I am terribly sorry for choking you.
I couldn't control my anger.
You are my nicest brother.
I shouldn't have done that to you.
I WILL NOT do it again. Sorry again.

Sincerely,
K
Hogwart's Head Master

Feb comes

I have started to get ready for my next 5K, which is in May. Last year I did the couch to 5K program, which got me ready and enabled me not to humiliate myself.

This week I have already run eight miles; it seems easier this time around. I also have been doing Zumba at the YMCA twice a week. My weight doesn't change because I still eat like a truck driver.

I have also taught the baby how to roll play dough into balls, which seems like not such a big deal, but has become a big time saver in my day-- perhaps about 20 minutes a day. Because all he wants to make are snowmen. HELP ME! MAKE SNOWMAN! HEEEELLP MEEEE.

Which leads me to the crazy part of being a Northerner living in the South... There comes a time when you have to teach your children words like: yak, aardvark and igloo. These are words you have to know them because they begin with a letter you have to learn in order to get ahead in life. Usually this curriculum is developed in exotic places like Connecticut or Massachusetts

When I realized there were pictures of sleds, mittens and icicles -- I actually had to explain them what they were how they were used or where you could find them, because we've had no interaction with them in real life. Snowmen? Same thing....The baby has never made, touched or seen a real snowman. Same thing with snowflakes -- we make the snip snip paper snowflakes -- not because it reflects the outdoors in anyway, but because it is a craft that goes with the season.

I don't miss the winters up north, but somehow I feel like my boys are missing out. Those winters make you stronger somehow and help you appreciate beauty in a different way. It also makes you more appreciative of spring when it comes like a promise fulfilled.

phase one of decluttering

Before.... our garage/mudroom was in constant disarray. We made a futile attempt to put up a shoe and coat rack.

Ater...Thanks to my friends at IKEA, we came up with a locker system. Each person has his own space and if his crap becomes too much for the space, it has to go.

Merry Christmas 2008

Here is a sacred holy scene revered around the world.

The Nativity......complete with Mary, Joseph, the donkey and Baby Jesus (in the laundry basket)

good news

I am lighter than I have felt in months, not physically, for better or worse, but mentally.

We met with a pediatric neurologist today at Emory for a second opinion on K's seizure condition. After a recent uptick in seizure activity, I harassed the unfortunate souls that make a living by answering the phones for the pediatric division.

"Do you have any cancellations?" I'd ask.
"Nope, first available is in February," he'd answer.
.....5 hours later.....
"Hello, me again. You have any cancellations?"
"No, I'm sorry first available is in April" she'd say.

Are you people trying to discourage me?

To say I love this doctor wouldn't even begin to expres what I feel about this man tonight. What do you say about a person that brings you wisdom, kindness, experience, reassurance and well, love, into caring for your child?
As a bonus, K thought he looked like a thin version of George Lucas.

This doc says K has a benign form of childhood epilepsy which he will likely outgrow. He said the threshold for medicating him is frankly up to us, as his parents. We will know when it is time to start the meds. For me, it was after his third seizure. However, my hunka hunka said as I readied to pry the mouth open of a sleeping child to throw a pill down his throat.....woah woman have you lost your mind? My sweet hunka needed some time to read up on seizures and the medications first. Ah nevermind that we've had about 4 months to read in on this, but anyway, welcome to the program.
In the end, it was probably for the best as now we can breathe and know that he will be OK.

Interestingly this week I caught one of my favorite NPR shows "Speaking of Faith." The show called Listening Generously spoke with a doctor who said that her personal battle with disease changed the way she approached patients and her views of healing and curing. She also said that much of the world's greatest wisdom comes from the sick or those near death, as that is the time that life becomes crystal clear and focuses one on the things that matter.

I shared some of this insight with K today that what has been happening to him is a gift that will help him empathize and sympathize with others now and as he grows. It has been a theme lately around our house that learning from our losses will teach us all to live.

everyone has a price

I've gone the distance with this third child.
He is three, and I am beyond and over the peeing in the pants thing.

So I took him to Target and upped the ante...."Name your price, kid."

He chose a Buzz Lightyear and I threw in a Woody doll....to have leverage in case the first time was a fluke.

It is taking far more emotional and physical energy than I have to get that kid to pot....

I am also in a project to organize the mess that is my garage/mud room...more on that later.